2 1/2 Day Rush...


Wednesday afternoon started as most days do, wake up, read the paper, check email and play poker. Held off on poker for a while knowing full well I couldn't set aside the essential 8 hours minimum to have a premium poker session. So I just sat in on a .50/1.00 NL table. Bought in for 40 bucks, cashed out for just above 80. Alright, well darts is basically a free roll, so let's get it going already. Darts came and went, our team dominated another week and during the last game, talks of a cash game of poker was thrown around. At first I was a tad leery of it, just due to the inexperience of playing live, but I figured that I had as good a shot, if not better, than most people at the table did of at least doubling my buy in. Bought in for 40, played about 6 hands down to showdown and won each one of them. Ended up leaving with a net profit of about 250, still waiting to collect from somebody. But that was a phenomenal way to head into my AC trip for tomorrow.

AC Trip: We get down there at about 4 PM, astoundingly quick drive time missed traffic through philly, and headed to Borgata to check out their new poker room. Absolutely magnificent and fucking huge! Ended up losing about 45-50 bucks for the trip as a whole, not bad considering my last trip down there cost me 500 double cheeseburgers at mcdonald's.

Friday 20 NL tourney: Woke up at the crack of noon, got a coffee and ripped into a 400 some person tourney...After a very long session I ended up placing 8th and banking about 330 bucks. Killer. Time for a bender at my second home. And bend I did. Me and Tard ended up going to the southworks and tried to keep this rush going, only for me to lose about 60 bucks on a poker machine. Eh whatever good time was had by all. Sorry for the delay, it's hard god damn work doing nothing all day.

Lawyers, Guns and Me in the Money.


Take a nice hard look at this find upstanding elitist douchebag from Lehigh University. Since Mommy and Daddy weren't paying enough attention to him growing up, he decided to get a gambling habit to rival KC (from Howard Stern early late 90's/early 2000's) and rob a bank so he could pay off his gambling debt he racked up online.

Greggy boy decided to dabble in some online gaming with his credit card while attending the extremely prestigious local university. After he racked up a serious bar tab on the CC his Mom and Pop decided to have software installed on his dorm room computer so that he would not be able to continue doing so. Good plan right? Sorta. Seems that the "Hoagster" is a real wiz with getting around firewalls on University Library computers and was able to quench his gambling thirst while other's were studying or looking up porn in the library. After all was said and done, he amassed a debt of over 5 grand. Whatever, get another fuckin grasscutting job this summer dummy, don't go and knock off a bank to try and win back what you've lost.

Fast forward to yesterday--the announcement that a bill is being worked out to outlaw all onling gaming (except horse racing and online lotteries, only because Abrhamoff was making loot off the lottery one). Fuckin great, I finally find something that I can get a little extra scratch with--without leaving my house, and it could get all flushed down the shitter because the WASP pictured above can't keep his fuckin plastic in his wallet. Obviously the only reason the government wants to fight a cause like this is because they are not getting any piece of the action of the onling gaming industry, (which is making almost 2 Billion per year). Sound similar to the war on drugs? Yeah, it's exactly the same thing, only now the fuckin lawmakers who represent the "people" now have a posterboy for their crusade against the demon that is online gaming. And he's sitting right on top of this entry. Thanks a lot Greg, you fucking dunce.

In other news, I placed 8th in a 522 man tournament last night raking in close to 3 bills. Not bad for a couple hours work. Went all in when the blinds were at 3/6 k, I had about 70 thousand left and was 7th out of 8 at the table. In the sb I get AQ o/s, and get raised by the douche of the table who had a sick chip lead. I reraise all in, bb folds, and this fuckin clown (eventual winner that took home 2,600) let's me think he's not going to call for about 30 seconds then calls with pocket 5's. Alright, a coin flip, I'll take it. I'd been sucking out for the entire tournament mine as well keep it up now right? Wrong. Flop: A (kickass, suck it you motherfuck....) 5, (you cocksucking lucky piece of shit, expletive, expletive...) and turn and river were useless. So a 20 investment turned into 270.

Vegas, baby?


No, the answer is no. No Vegas trip for me this year, as my current hot streak that had been ridden all week came to an abrupt end at Sunday's WSOP Qualifier. Prior to softball in the AM, there were approx. 220 people enrolled in the tourney. No problem I'm thinking, I've placed within the top 10 in 180 person tournament's, what's an extra 40? How about an extra 290! By the time the first cards were dealt, I started with the big blind also, >:- , there were 507 people enlisted in this tournament. What a fuckin joke that was...They ran a 27 dollar tournament that ended about 2 minutes before the tournament started---letting 34 noobs into the fuckin thing.

I took a bad beat, and a below average chip stack into the first break, and tried to clear my head by throwing some darts. Obviously that didn't help very much, as I was eliminated after 2 spins around the table after the break. Finished in 381st place, what a fuckin joke.

Headed back down to el gato after the beat, and treated myself to a tubo or 7. Caught a ride home with Buzz, and we both decided to try our luck online--him at pokerroom and I at my site. Apparently my bad luck had just begun, as I continued to tilt into the wee hours of the morning, pissing away basically the rest of my bank roll on a seven card stud table. Although, I was rather hammered I could have been playing Indian Poker and just was seeing 7 cards.

I thank all the AUGgies out there that supported me last week, and look to make an appearance at the Sunday Millions Tournament (215+30) in the near future, while I still am jobless. I highly doubt my employer would take the excuse of "up til an ungodly hour of the night playing online poker" and I'd really like to keep the next job that I get.

Also, in my next post I will be weighing in on the hot topic of a bill being possibly passed outlawing online poker. I have to gather some more information but at the initial reading, it doesn't look good for this fella. Cheers.

Hot, Hot, Hot...

This is what you will see if you research "Jakepac" at www.sharkscope.com. This site is dedicated to allowing losers just like me the ability to check up on how good/bad they are doing in the online poker community. Last night/this morning while playing in a 180 person s&g, the final table turned rather ugly. During one of the breaks, this loudmouth was checking up on everyone's stats as to try and gather a better understanding of who he was playing with. He get's to my name and is shocked, because I play so "recklessly" that how did I cash in the last 4 tournaments in a row...Because I am that damn good, that's how.

Tournament finished up with me taking 6th and 180 balloons, couple hours work and I had a screaming headache(possibly a pre-hangover headache) afterwards but I busted my bankroll up another digit so that's all that matters in the end. 77 hours until my fate is decided for Las Vegas....

Later everyone, gotta go to "work".

I just wanna kiss you...

As I sat down for the evening's poker playing adventures after putting in a solid shift at el gato (6 tubos, several red bull beverages, many curse words), I had no idea what was about to happen to me. A possible life changing experience if you will.

It probably wasn't until the first break in the tournament that I realized exactly how much the buy in was for (80 bucks holy shit) that I realized I better fuckin win this thing. Grinding it out, and pulling out two nut straights against some exposed small stacks, grew my stack to first out of the remaining 11. A mini-meltdown on my part knocked me back to 5th and I saw all my hopes and dreams come crashing down...Until I get doubled up by a cocky big stack at the table (he'd been at my table for the entire tourney and got a big stack right off the bat, but didn't even cash so :P). The light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be getting closer and closer...Then boom. One of the two other chip leaders(3 people actually "won" the tourney) knocked out the remaining two players, advancing myself, and the other two jokers into Sunday July 6th's 615+35 dollar buy in tournament...and for every 11 g's in the pot a person get's to go to the Main Event of the World Series of Poker out in Vegas at the end of the month! Right now there is only one spot, but they have super satellites running every day, all day, all week, so it should probably be around 100 entrants I'd imagine by the time Sunday comes around. 100 entrants, at 650 bucks a shot, 65,000. So that means 5 lucky contestants get to go to Vegas and represent Pokerstars at the Main Event.

Personally, I have severely awful alterior motives for getting to the WSOP on pokerstars dime...I'd like nothing more than to get on ESPN's featured table, get smashed and get berated by Norman Chad for being a stupid youngster. And hanging with Jennifer Tilly wouldn't be bad either, niiiiiiice.